I think I’ve tried about 4 times to have a knitting blog, yet I always found it so limiting. I don’t knit prolifically, like the talented Eunny Jang or Wendy Johnson, as I like to do other things. I also am not a technique fiend like Grumperina, so I wouldn’t have any fun progress reports. Sometimes I just like to write, to keep my skills in that creative area sharp. Sometimes I like to try other crafts: spinning, dyeing fiber, constructing paper sculptures, and weaving on my homemade frame loom. Sometimes I like to try what I think is impossible, like shoemaking (which I am learning a lot by making a lot of mistakes!!). In all my attempts of crafting my own ideas, I have a lot of beta versions that I’m not too proud of. I usually don’t take photos of these. I consider the process my own, something out of my own, private, weird brain. 
All my creative endeavors involve fiber of some kind, however. Whether it’s writing in a journal with pretty pages, or just knitting, fiber is always there. I am also an art school dropout. Yep! I left after a year, for a variety of reasons, but mostly I was frustrated at the confinement of thought in the foundation basics. I had no technique, basically, which meant no basis to provide my creativity with a workable execution. It’s not that my work was completely horrid, I just was never given enough time to work out an assignment in a manner to which I was satisfied. The perfection of a process is something that digests very slowly in me.
My move to Linguistics was basically because I have a predilection to natural language and it’s deeper structures. I love linguistic puzzles, especially historical ones. I found it amazing to recreate older languages that had been changed many times over hundreds of years to an almost unrecognizable form. When this happens, you get a glimpse into what their culture may have been like. Typically, words that are important to a culture will remain basically the same, or share the same features of other languages around it.
I also suffer from “major depressive disorder (recurrent)”, as I am diagnosed with. I’m getting good treatment, which aids in my creativity and desire to accomplish things. Also, I got a little Schnottie from the Humane Society in October who forces me to keep active. Although my life is very blessed, and I have everything I need, I just have a little problem being comfortable about myself and my purpose in life. Maybe the continuation of blog entries will help me feel comfortable about who I am. And hopefully tell me who I am. It’s so easy for me to be really harsh on myself. I’m trying to work it out.
Because of this, I have renewed my personal relationship with God, and this also helps my depression a great deal. My husband I recently started going to the church I spent my formative teen years in, where I received unconditional love from the congregation, as I had depression even back then. Also, I had a horrendous case of Lyme Disease, called Lyme Carditis. Essentially, it was Lyme with 2nd degree heart block. I spent my high school years with an IV line either in my arm or my chest, as the heart block was supposed to go away with heavy antibiotic treatment. I spent a lot of time at home, in solitude, and it formed the basis of my love of crafting things. Going to art school right after this was a bad idea, for all the reasons above, and all the reasons a person getting over an illness would have. With God’s grace, writing in this blog will hopefully reveal to me His plan for me. I just want to make myself proud, and bring smiles from other people because of my work. God grounds me, God keeps me humble, God shows me the way. For all these things, I thank Him. Even though it is a long process.
